Lovely Day For a Guinness

250 years ago today Arthur Guinness signed a 9000 year lease for the Saint James Gate Brewery. I think that's worth celebrating. Cheers!

I'm Sick

I hate being sick. Haven't been sick for a couple of years. Aches, pains, coughing, sniffles, fever, the usual stuff. You think I can get away from work? Ha! Had to come in today to take care of a problem. I shouldn't have gotten out of bed but I was climbing ladders and running things. And the commute was fun too. It's 14 degrees out there with a high wind. Feels great. I'll be back to work tomorrow to deal with contractors as well as the usual stuff. As for now, I'm going to bed.

Blah.

All I Want

Is snow plows with frickin' laser beams attached to their frickin' blades. Is that too much to ask?

And to All a Good Night

I wrote a little essay about my troubled relationship with Christmas, but it was so depressing that I decided to drop it in a file. No point bringing everyone else down. As for you, I hope you have a good holiday.

Nuke the Sun!

The sun – man's oldest enemy. It bathes the earth with deadly radiation. It is the principle cause of global warming. It melts the icecaps, causes droughts and dust storms, and blinds those foolish enough to gaze upon it. The sun is a leading cause of cancer, auto accidents, and heat stroke. Today, on this winter solstice, when we are mercifully free of the sun's malevolence for more hours than any other day of the year, I call upon Congress and the President to finally end the the tyranny of Sol, put our military might to constructive purpose, and fulfill our destiny to destroy the sun.

Thank you and good night.

Other Owls, Number Five – Mr. Owl

Yes, that Mr. Owl. Philosopher, pundit, collegian, and corporate shill. Only Mr. Owl has the wisdom to embrace uncertainty. Some would say that by cutting short the experiment by biting into the confection he proved himself unequal to the challenge posed by the boy, but I would defend his actions. First of all, the question was impossible to answer. There can be no final determinant of the how many licks question because of the variables involved. Size, roughness, and wetness of the tongue are just a few of the more significant variables. Mr. Cow*, for example, would surely require fewer licks than, say, Mr. Turtle. By ending the discussion as he did, Mr. Owl pointed out the absurdity of the question. I would also point out that while the spirit of the experiment may have been violated in the view of the boy, Mr. Owl did, in fact, answer the question accurately. Knowing that the answer must be necessarily different depending on the person licking the sweetmeat, he could only give the answer appropriate to his own circumstance. There was nothing in the phrasing of the question that prohibited biting. Therefore, Mr. Owl gave a correct answer in stating that it took only three licks, followed by a bite, to complete the assigned task. Any further effort on his part would be foolish, and Mr. Owl is by no means foolish.



Mr. Owl. Paragon of wisdom and candy fancier.

*And can someone explain Mr. Cow to me? By definition a cow is a female animal, but Mr. Cow is clearly not a female. Who is this gender bending bovine?

The Weird Books Room

Folderol points us to AbeBooks UK's Weird Books Room. Very interesting volumes within. I love the cover for Soldier Bear and find myself intrigued by The Romance of Proctology and Bombproof Your Horse. I was surprised to see one book that I've read. The Social History of the Machine Gun is actually quite good.

Trivial Hoot Seven

OK, so nobody got my last question about a space traveler, but I am undaunted. Here's another space-based challenge. Can you name the first person to take off from the earth in a spacecraft, reach space, and then fly that spacecraft safely back to the surface of our planet?

That should be easy, right?

One Who Hopes

L.L. Zamenhof, inventinto de Esperanto, naskiĝis 150 jaroj antaŭe hodiaŭ.

Feliĉa Naskiĝtago!

Random Passage

Every now and then I run across a passage in a book that just strikes me. Just thought I'd share one with you today.

I'm reading about the Battle of Chickamauga in Shelby Foote's The Civil War. It turned out to be the second bloodiest battle ever fought on American soil, an all-out slugfest along the west bank of the Chickamauga Creek in Georgia.

All morning, here on the Confederate right, the struggle was touch and go, until the beginning was unrememberable and no end seemed possible. All there was was now, a raging fury. When an owl flew up, startled out of a tree by the battle racket, some crows attacked it in flight between the lines. “Moses, what a country!” a soldier exclaimed as he watched. “The very birds are fighting.”

Glenn's Book of Quotes, Number Sixteen

"My belief is that art should not be comforting; for comfort, we have mass entertainment and one another. Art should provoke, disturb, arouse our emotions, expand our sympathies in directions we may not anticipate and may not even wish." -- Joyce Carol Oates

Behold, The Power of Maniacal Hooting

One month ago Maniacal Hooting told you about the Commonwealth's plan to use federal stimulus money to buy Patriot's owner Robert Kraft a footbridge. Now, under pressure from the outraged citizenry, who quite possibly* were inspired by reading this very blog, the government has abruptly changed plans. The Obama administration has told Governor Patrick that using federal money to reward wealthy supporters might not look too good. Huzzah! The day is saved and integrity is restored to government service.

The project, however, will go on. Deval Patrick has said that the state will find alternative public funding to get this footbridge built across Route 1. I suppose you think that means state tax dollars. Silly taxpayer. This is Massachusetts. We'll find a way to get the rest of you to pay for it. That's how we roll.


*The possibility is roughly the same as catching a meteorite on the same day you win the lottery, but it is definitely there.

Descent of Birds

I think I've said it before, but one of the things that I enjoy about the study of birds is the way it illustrates the power and beauty of evolution. It was, after all, by observing finches that Darwin got his first inklings of the grand process. Here's an interesting article about how bird feeders are affecting avian evolution before our very eyes.

Humbug

Left the house at 9:00 on Sunday, got home 13 and a half hours later. Yesterday was better, only 12 and a half hours. Tomorrow will probably be only 12 hours, but Thursday is my day off. I'll probably only work about 5 or 6 hours.

Holiday season.

Phooey.

The Kirk Answer

Jaquandor quite rightly takes me to task by pointing out that I have not yet provided an answer to the last Trivial Hoot. My apologies. November and December are my least favorite months of the year. It's the busy time in my business. I've grown to hate Christmas – but that's a post for another day.

I asked you to name every adult performer who played the role of James T. Kirk on Star Trek. I also warned you that it was trickier than you might think. That eliminates Jimmy Bennett and the uncredited baby held by Jennifer Morrison in the recent movie. We are left with My Three Kirks.

William Shatner, Chris Pine, and Sandra Smith.

Wha?!
Sandra Smith played Doctor Janice Lester, mad scientist and one of Kirk's many former girlfriends in the last (and pretty close to least) of the original episodes, “Turnabout Intruder.” Lester wants to take over the Enterprise (of course) and uses Super Science (of course) to do it. She switches her personality with that of Kirk. For most of the rest of the episode Shatner plays the increasingly hysterical Janice Lester, posing as Kirk, while Smith plays Kirk in a dress.

I told you it was tricky.