Thursday, March 11, 2010

Happy World Kidney Day!

The parade should start any time now. I already see the two huge kidney-shaped balloons, each held back from flying away by teams of over a hundred volunteers. Members of the Royal Renal Band are blowing up their bagpipes (a sound both magnificent and deeply annoying). I'm particularly looking forward to the award winning barbershop quartet, the Dialysis Dandies, who I understand are on a float that is designed to look like an enormous diseased kidney. It's not every day you see a working fountain on the back of a flatbed truck. Last year's close order drill by the Marching Nephrologists All-Star Band was a huge hit, and anticipation is high.

While cynics may say that all this fun isn't worth a load of fetid dingo's kidneys, and others want to rush though the parade to get to the eating contest, I would focus on the real meaning of the day. Remember to eat good, healthy food, watch your salt intake, exercise, get to a healthy weight, and drink water. Or you could skip all that, get sick, suffer, and die. Have a great day!

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