Sign My Petition

I have created an online petition. This is a matter of great importance and I do hope you will help me reach the goal of half a million signatures. Here is the message that we need to give to the studios, loud and clear:

Whereas the major studios have told us that movies are better in 3-D, and whereas My Dinner With Andre is a fine film made with the outdated technology of its time, and whereas it would surely be better fully realized in 3-D, we, the undersigned, request and demand that Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn recreate their roles and remake My Dinner With Andre using today's 3-D process so that we can finally see this movie as it was obviously meant to be seen.

Right then, who's with me?

The Mystery of Uhura's Armband

Calling all fellow Trekkies! I have a run across a puzzlement. The other day I was watching “City on the Edge of Forever,” which is certainly the best episode in the canon. In the first scene in which the Enterprise is passing through some bumpy temporal something-or-others we see Lt. Uhura in her usual place on the bridge, doing her usual job, wearing her usual uniform, but with an odd variation. Around her left forearm she is wearing a black armband. When she joins the landing party in the next scene she is not wearing it. It is never mentioned or seen again. What is it? Why is it there? I've looked around for an answer and found nothing. Memory Alpha ignores it. I've run into discussion and speculation but no answers.



I have a theory that is far more likely to be wrong than right, but I rather like it. The episode was shot in early February of 1967. On January 27, just a few days before, the crew of Apollo 1, Gus Grissom, Roger Chaffee, and Ed White, were killed when a fire broke out in their command module while testing the equipment. I speculate that Nichelle Nichols was wearing a visible sign of mourning. On the other hand the reason may be perfectly mundane.

So I ask you, oh wise and knowledgeable hive mind of the internet, what do you know? Can you finally solve the mystery of Uhura's armband?

Avatar

I finally got around to seeing Avatar. It was more than I expected and less than I wanted.

I knew that the visual effects were going to be good. What I didn't expect was how rich and layered they would be. Cameron has created one of the most visually appealing alien worlds to ever appear on the screen. The depth and detail of the forest is astounding. From the plants and flying insects in the foreground to complex tangle of life in the background, Pandora is a stunningly beautiful place. The Na'vi, the people who live in this forest world, are themselves beautiful. This is a motion picture worth watching just for the moving pictures. If you do go and see it I'd suggest watching the 3-D version. This was made to be seen in 3-D.

There has been a bit of controversy about 3-D lately. Avarar's box office success seems to have convinced Warner Brothers that they need to make all their future big movies in 3-D. A lot of people are asking why. Most movies, even most action movies, won't really be any better in 3-D. Good old 2-D is just fine. It is only movies like this that are built around their visual element and are designed with the process in mind that are worth the extra expense and the bother of wearing funny glasses. The push to create more movies using this technology is fairly senseless.

So the visuals are stunning. What of the plot, the characters, the story?

Well, that's the “less than I wanted” part. The plot is predictable, cliched, and somewhat hackneyed. While the visuals were fully realized, the characters were not.

Mankind is on the planet Pandora to mine the place of that most valuable of all precious MacGuffins, unobtainium. Yes, they really did call it that. I took it as a signal that we weren't to look too closely at the plot. It didn't matter what was being mined, it was something that they had and we wanted.

The mining company has two groups of non-miners with them; scientists and soldiers. The soldiers are there to keep the native population from disturbing the mining operation. The scientists are there to study that same population and to try to convince them to get out of the way.

The soldiers do their job with guns and bombs. The scientists use “avatars” to better communicate with the Na'vi. Avatars are artificially created Na'vi bodies that the scientists download their consciousnesses into. Our hero in this story is a former soldier who is working for the scientists. As he learns more about the Na'vi and grows closer to them, he begins to see who are the good guys and who are the bad.

The plot of good guy tree hugging primitive aliens versus evil, exploitative humans was very familiar. I rather liked it when Ursula K Le Guin wrote it in more than thirty years ago in The World For World Is Forest. That too featured mystical elements and a native revolution against the human baddies.

This is the fantasy re-telling of way too much human history. It is the story of the Americans and the American Indians. It is the story of the Belgians and the Congolese, the Australians and the Aborigines, and the British and just about everyone. It is a story that is worth telling. Science fiction can be used to tell these stories in a way that reveals truths by looking at them in a new way. That's not what happened here.

As an action movie this was a lot of fun. As a love story it was quite pleasant. It was great to watch but it didn't present all that much to think about. Fine. Watch it anyway. It's worth seeing, but probably only once.

Answer Ten – The Bishop

Not too long ago (I hope) I threw down the trivial gauntlet for the tenth time and asked if anyone could identify a pictured historical figure. Nobody got it. Perhaps I should have given you a hint. Here's one: the photograph was made by Mathew Brady. Any help?

Okay, enough waiting. The man in the picture was the Episcopal bishop of New Orleans. The bishop's more famous side job was general. He is Leonidas Polk, better known as Lieutenant General Leonidas Polk of the Confederate States Army.


With a name like Leonidas it seems foreordained (oh I do love a bad pun) that he'd end up a soldier. It may not have been the best career move. During the Battle of Atlanta he was pretty much cut in two by a shell. Do all bishops go to heaven?

So now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

International Talk Like William Shatner Day

Yes, my friends, it's time to pause . . . between words, at odd intervals, then speak very quickly, gesticulate dramtically, emote broadly, and generally be, the man, the captain, the . . . legend that is William Shatner. For today . . . is. . . the second InternationalTalkLikeWilliamShatnerDay.

Boston, the Raven Has Landed

PhiloBiblos visits Boston's newest clean, well lighted place, Raven Used Books. Looks good.

A Bunch of Questions

I first saw this at Calvin's Canadian Cave of Coolness. Looked interesting. Then I saw Jaquandor do it. I don't usually play, but what the heck, I'm in a mood.

1. What were doing 10 years ago?

Having a nervous breakdown. Really.

2. Five snacks that you enjoy in a perfect, non weight-gaining world?

In this perfect world diabetes has been cured: popcorn, Pop-Tarts, anything with cheese, anything with maple sugar, donuts.

3. Five things you would do if you were a billionaire:

Buy a house in the Back Bay and another in the White Mountains. Make sure my family never wanted for anything, ever. Travel a bit. Create a charitable foundation with a silly name so I could hear it on TV; “This program is made possible by the generous support of the Fartentooter Foundation.” And I could use a new pair of shoes.

4. Three of your habits:

Cracking my knuckles, singing for no reason, wasting time.

5. Five jobs that you've had:

Movie usher, video game room attendant, salesman, mortgage banker, bookseller.

6. Five places that you've lived:

Near Boston. That's about it.

7. Five things that you did yesterday:

Went to work. Bought shampoo (they were out of realpoo). Took pills. Blogged about hawks. Read some history.

8. Five people you would want to get to know more about:

Hitler, Jesus, Franklin, Poe, me.

9. Abortion: for or against it?

When it comes to matters of rights and social issues you will usually find me supporting individual liberty against the power of a coercive government. While the decision to destroy a living fetus is morally and ethically complex, I do not want legislators or bureaucrats to make these decisions for us. I am also a strong supporter of the concept of equal protection under the law. A significant restriction of individual liberty and personal choice that is placed on one sex only is necessarily unequal and unacceptable.

10. Do you think the world would fail with a female president?

The question is absurd. Did Israel fail with Golda Meir? Did the UK fail with Margaret Thatcher? Is Germany failing with Angela Merkel? Female heads of government are accepted around the world. They are no more or less prone to failure than males.

11. Do you believe in the death penalty?

I'm of two minds on this. On the one hand some crimes are so terrible that the penalty should be death. On the other hand I don't trust such a decision to human beings and I don't want to put the power of life and death in the hands of any government.

12. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?

Of course. See previous answers about individual liberty. I've never tried the stuff, don't want to, and disprove of it in general, but I don't think you, me, or Uncle Sam should have the right to tell people what not to do to themselves.

13. Are you for or against premarital sex?

None of my damn business.

14. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?

Do you remember what I said a bit ago about equal protection under the law? It's right there in the Constitution. Fourteenth Amendment in fact. You could look it up, as they say. How can you grant a right to one group of people and deny it to another and think that such an act is constitutionally acceptable?

15. Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?

Wrong for who? Certainly not wrong for the migrants. Apparently not wrong for the people who are hiring them. Not wrong for Americans who wish to purchase the goods and services that their work provides. What is wrong is the “illegal” part. I'm told that if we could wave a magic wand and stop all illegal immigration it would cause several industries that rely on the labor to collapse. Obviously allowing people to enter the country only to take advantage of our social programs does us no good, but those who are willing and able to work or go to school should have a path to legal immigration. On the other hand I am concerned about the number of people who cross our borders without permission every year. The ability to secure borders is one of the basic security functions of government. A better job needs to be done to enforce the border laws that we have.

16. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?

Yes. Americans have a strange attitude toward alcohol. We treat it as a bad thing, something children need to be protected from. The supermarket in my town has a liquor section. If you have a bottle or a six-pack with your groceries the cashier, if he is under twenty-one, must stop and call an older supervisor to pick up the bottle, run it past the bar code scanner, and put it in a bag. He is legally enjoined from touching the package, as if it's close proximity could somehow contaminate his innocent soul. This is precisely how you create an attractive forbidden fruit and this is precisely what leads to secret and binge drinking. We need a more reasonable way to introduce young people to alcohol.

17. Should the war in Iraq be called off?

A couple of weeks ago Iraq held nationwide elections. It was another important step the people of that country took toward creating the second free and democratic nation-state in the Middle East. On that day the forces of evil (an archaic expression, yes, but appropriate nonetheless) bombed polling places, fired mortars into crowds, and shot at people waiting to vote. So the answer is yes. The people who would murder indiscriminately in order to terrify people to the point that they would surrender their freedom and bow to the will of the killers should call off the war immediately. I'm going to guess that this will not happen. It seems to me that the United States now has a responsibility to help the people of Iraq secure their country against tyranny and terror. We have promised them that we would do this thing and then leave. The president and the Joint Chiefs say that this should be accomplished by next year. I'm looking forward to it. So, I imagine, is Iraq.

18. Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?

Back to individual liberty again. If someone wants to die why do we feel that the government should have any power over the decision? And if that someone wants assistance so that the death is clean, painless, and dignified, then why not? If the law says no, “then the law is a ass.”

19. Do you believe in spanking children?

"Speak roughly to your little boy,
And beat him when he sneezes:
He only does it to annoy,
Because he knows it teases."

20.Do you worry that others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

Worry? No. "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

Hawks

This is a heck of a week. Eleven days between days off and lots of work to do when I'm there. Combine that with pain and infection and I can't say it's been great. Still, I did have one nice moment today. I was walking back to work with a sandwich that I was going to eat at my desk when I heard a distinctive shriek above my head. I looked up, hoping to catch a glimpse of the hawk that had made its presence known. At first I saw nothing but blue sky. Then, soaring high above, was a red tail hawk. Then, below that and streaking down the length of the street, was another. I lost sight of them for a moment and when they again came into view one of them swooped down and attacked the other. It was a quick, slashing attack, over in a moment. Gone again, two hawks showed up seconds later, one above the other. The higher one folded its wings and lost altitude. I assumed it was a resumption of the fight, but when the two birds bumped talons it was slow and almost gentle. Then they flew together, as if in formation. Then a third hawk came into view. And a fourth. The mated pair separated. The four flew among the buildings, coming into and out of sight. Another attack as one hawk dove upon another. The attacked bird was hit and had to struggle a moment to remain airborne. Then it was over -- for me anyway. The birds, not confined to a little patch of ground, moved their dangerous dance to another part of town. It is nice to receive an occasional reminder that the world is a vastly more interesting, beautiful, and exciting place than we can usually see from our workbenches.

Another Bookstore in Boston

More good news from the Athens of America. Raven Used Books is opening a new location on Newbury Street.

On Pain

Pain is oppressive. It colors every hour. It becomes hard to hold a thought or to do any creative work. I'm working on something, forming an idea, then another wave of pain breaks. When it passes I grope around for the nascent idea and it is gone, washed away. I count the hours until I can take the next dose of the so-called “pain-killers.” “Pain-dullers” would be more accurate. I'm still glad to have them. It's better than yesterday, standing in a crowded trolley, seeing my reflection in the window through slitted eyes, grimacing back at me. When I am finally alone I indulge in a shout, and an occasional moan.

Vigorous physical activity helps. Stress helps. Bashing my fist into a wall helps. Is it adrenaline? Endorphins? I'll ask my doctor when I next see him, assuming I can remember this thought. By then, I hope, the question will be academic. I should feel the effects of the antibiotic in a couple of days. Pray let it be so. I don't think I want much more of this.

Stupid Daylight Stupid Savings Stupid Time

Oh joy. We get to “spring ahead” tonight. We get to lose an hour of sleep. Tomorrow at 11:00 we'll all agree that it's really noon, even though we know it isn't so. Why? So we have more time to get the crops in? So we have more daylight by which to work?

We have electricity now dammit! And if you want more daylight in your waking hours, get up earlier and got to bed earlier too. It will make you healthy, wealthy, and wise, or so I'm told.

I watched a plumber working in our basement the other day (yes, I love work, I can watch it for hours). At one point he needed to run a pipe between two joints. They were three feet apart, but the pipe he had on hand was two inches short. He was about to go up to his truck when I told him he could use daylight savings to lengthen it on the spot. All he had to do was cut two inches off of one end, add that to the other end, and et voilà, it will be the right size. Worked like a charm, of course.

Happy World Kidney Day!

The parade should start any time now. I already see the two huge kidney-shaped balloons, each held back from flying away by teams of over a hundred volunteers. Members of the Royal Renal Band are blowing up their bagpipes (a sound both magnificent and deeply annoying). I'm particularly looking forward to the award winning barbershop quartet, the Dialysis Dandies, who I understand are on a float that is designed to look like an enormous diseased kidney. It's not every day you see a working fountain on the back of a flatbed truck. Last year's close order drill by the Marching Nephrologists All-Star Band was a huge hit, and anticipation is high.

While cynics may say that all this fun isn't worth a load of fetid dingo's kidneys, and others want to rush though the parade to get to the eating contest, I would focus on the real meaning of the day. Remember to eat good, healthy food, watch your salt intake, exercise, get to a healthy weight, and drink water. Or you could skip all that, get sick, suffer, and die. Have a great day!

Trivial Hoot Ten

Greetings again puzzlers! Here it is, the tenth in our series of trivial challenges. Can you join the prestigious ranks of our steely-eyed missile men? This one falls somewhere between the worlds of history and religion. Please cast your eyes upon this man of the cloth.

As you might divine (chortle) by his raiment, this man is a bishop. He is actually better known by his side-job. Our question is, what is that side-job and who is this man?

Burked

I've just read that Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis are currently shooting a movie to be called Burke and Hare. Directed by John Landis, it features Tim Curry and John Cleese. Yup, it's a comedy. Is it in good taste to make a comedy of England's most infamous case of grave robbery and murder? No, and I'm really looking forward to seeing it.

Field Guide to Bad Guys, Page 2

Another tip for identifying global bad guys: if you publicly disagree with them, bad guys bust in on you at night, arrest you, your wife, your daughter, and whatever friends happen to be visiting you, and then steal your stuff. No one will know where they are holding you. The local media won’t mention it, because they are owned by the bad guys. Today’s example – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Random Passage

As Shelby Foote tells it, General Sherman's men were not warmly welcomed by the women of Georgia.

This applied only to the white women, of course. Black ones were far more sympathetic to the invaders, especially on visits to their roadside bivouacs at night. “And they didn't charge us a cent,” one grateful infantryman recorded.

I love that. Someone writing today would have included a chapter on the sexual mores and practices of the soldiers, with more information that anyone would require. By comparison, Mr. Foote was positively genteel.

The Jazz Decades

I just read that Ray Smith died last month. I don't know how I missed that and I rather wish I had never heard it. For the last 38 years Mr Smith was the host of Jazz Decades on WGBH radio. He brought us some of the best music the world has ever heard once a week for more than 1,900 weekends. He shared his great knowledge and experience with his grateful listeners, displaying charm, wit, and an infections enthusiasm for his subject. While it is comforting to note that 'GBH will broadcast the archived shows, Ray Smith himself will be sorely missed.

Glenn's Book of Quotes, Number Seventeen

“Those who 'abjure' violence can only do so because others are committing violence on their behalf.” -- George Orwell


It's hard not to admire the pacifist. To rise above our violent civilization and to refuse the call of country or community to take arms requires courage. To answer a higher call, be it one of faith or philosophy, is not easy when your family and neighbors say that the defense of home, loved ones, the flag and all that it stands for, is the most noble thing a person can do. But I believe that the hardiest thing, for the honest pacifist, is to acknowledge the truth of this quote. We know that this is a cruel and bloody world. If you doubt it just pick up a history book or read a newspaper. The only thing that stands between us and that bloody world is the cop and the soldier, both ready to fight for us. That is the flaw in the heart of pure pacifism – its very existence depends upon the violent defense of all that makes it possible: relative peace, prosperity, and freedom.

There is no inherent flaw in the concept of peace or the dream of a more peaceful world. There is certainly no such flaw in the logic of those who would stay the hand of violence when peaceful solutions can be found. It is those who will take up arms under no circumstances, who call for peace at any price, who have to face the fact that the price would be their ability to stand on those very principles. The price of keeping them free to “abjure violence” is violence itself, paid by others.

While it is hard not to admire the principled pacifist, it is well nigh impossible to not admire his defender. He knows that some of those he fights on behalf of despise him for it or say that he is wrong for doing so. He knows that they could be with him or supporting him, but that they instead choose to denigrate his sacrifice. And he knows the truth of what Orwell said, and he does his work anyway. That, I think, really is the most noble thing a person can do.

Answer Number Nine

Well, it looks like nobody got my last Trivial Hoot and it's past time that I make with the answer. The question, just to remind you was this: Please name the author of the following works “Monograph on Cryptology,” “Age of Documents,” “Monographs of the Human Ear,” “Upon the Distinction Between the Ashes of Various Tobaccos,” and Practical Handbook of Bee Culture, with some Observations upon the Segregation of the Queen

The answer is . . . well, let me say that the answer is elementary. The mere child's play of deduction. The author was that great detective and beekeeper himself, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Tune in again to catch our next trivial challenge, coming soon to a browser near you.

Holy Nail!

Archaeologists working at a site believed to be a base for the order of the Knights Templar have found something interesting. They dug up three skeletons, three swords, and an ornate box. One of the swords bore a Templar symbol. The box, when opened, contained one thing; a nail. They have since dated that nail to the first or second century AD. The implication is clear. This must be one of the great relics of Christendom, one of the Holy Nails with which Jesus was crucified. It can now take its rightful place among the other thirty or so Holy Nails known to exist.

Wonderful things these Holy Nails. They can protect people and horses. They have been known to calm angry seas. But with only thirty of the original four available, you probably think that you can't have one. But wait! Now you too can have a Holy Nail of your very own. Perform miracles! Make your home a destination for pilgrims! A thousand uses! Order yours now, operators are standing by.

Mind Candy

Another great video by OK Go. If this doesn't make you happy then you are probably dead inside.

Field Guide to Bad Guys

Tip for identifying global bad guys: bad guys try to crush dissent by banning the works of writers they don't like and by restricting their movements. Today's example – the government of China.