Mootday

Once I spent some time at a place where it was part of the routine to fill out forms. One of the routine forms was a log that recorded a couple of daily events. Running down one side of the form was a column of boxes labeled “date.” Once every few weeks we'd get to the bottom of one form and start afresh with another. Someone would usually fill out all of the dates in the appropriate column. One day I noticed that one of my colleagues had done this task. “8/28, 8/29, 8/30, 8/31, 8/32, 9/1, 9/2 . . .,” it now read.

I wondered about this. Was there a day I was missing out on? I couldn't remember having ever worked on August 32. Was there a holiday I was missing out on? I turned to the World Wide Interweb to see what I could find out. Turns out I had been missing something. There was a book about August 32. There was a movie. It is of some importance to the music industry. But there is not a lot of information about the glorious 32nd of August.

It seems to be a relatively blank page on the calendar. Before someone comes along and makes it a workday or a national day of remembrance or some such unpleasant thing, someone should claim August 32 as a holiday. As the foremost authority available, the task has fallen to me.

I declare August 32 to be Mootday. Mootday shall have no significance. No work shall be done on Mootday as it wouldn't matter if it did, so why bother? Take it easy, engage in theoretical discussions, have a drink, sit in a park, listen to birds, and just have a reasonably pleasant time.

Mark your calendars now. Happy Mootday.