The Terror of . . . Sheepnado!

If you're anything like me, and God help you if you are, you've probably asked yourself why Syfy (I still hate that spelling) made a movie about a shark tornado when they could have done a movie about a sheep tornado.



Oh. That's why. Right then, carry on.

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty

"The appeal of the spectrally macabre is generally narrow because it demands from the reader a certain degree of imagination and a capacity for detachment from everyday life." -- H.P. Lovecraft

Happy Halloween to all you imaginative, intelligent people out there. As for the rest of you, enjoy your slasher movies, sparkly vampires, and fun-size candy bars. To each their own, boys and ghouls.

The Day it Rained Whale

Forty years ago today . . . this happened.



This may be the best news story ever broadcast. November 12, 1970, the Oregon Highway Division reasoned that the best way to move a dead whale would be to use dynamite. It went about as well as you might expect.

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number 24

"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." -- H.P. Lovecraft

Fear of the unknown is primal. The unknown, after all, is where the monsters of our imagination live. Fear teaches us caution, which keeps us alive to cower another day, but, conversely, it is also fear that drives us forward, into the unknown. We are driven to explore, to find out what lives behind the mountains, what is inside the old house, the isolated town, the forbidden tome. We defeat the unknown, again and again, and keep fear at bay.

Of course, if you're writing weird fiction, you're going to want to fill that unknown with hideous, horrible, unspeakable creatures of eldritch power, unimaginable age, and a physical presence that calls reality itself into question. And maybe some tentacles.

What Happens in Jellystone Stays in Jellystone

Um . . . wow.  Well, as long as they're happy, I guess.

I May Never Eat Pastrami Again

Here's a fashion trend I never understood – butt print pants. Why someone would go around with “juicy” or “dance” or a school's name printed across their bottoms I do not know. I hadn't really thought about it until this afternoon. I was walking along the sidewalk. In front of me, facing away, was an elderly woman. She looked to be in her eighties. She was taking tiny little steps with the help of her gray metal cane. As I got closer I noticed the writing. They were sparkly gold letters on the tan sweatpants. “Mike's,” it said on one octogenarian buttock, “Deli,” it said on the other.

There are some things that I am not meant to understand.

From Out of the West . . .

I've decided that if I couldn't live in New England I would choose to move to Portland, Oregon. Why? Here is the cover of the latest issue of the Portland Mercury.

Yes, it is Betty White in a metal bikini, wielding a flaming chainsaw, and riding a John Ritter centaur with an erupting volcano in the background. The Mercury asked it's readers what they would like to see on the cover and then had an artist realize their wish. I tip my hat to you Portland. That's a fine bit of weirdness.

Holy Nail!

Archaeologists working at a site believed to be a base for the order of the Knights Templar have found something interesting. They dug up three skeletons, three swords, and an ornate box. One of the swords bore a Templar symbol. The box, when opened, contained one thing; a nail. They have since dated that nail to the first or second century AD. The implication is clear. This must be one of the great relics of Christendom, one of the Holy Nails with which Jesus was crucified. It can now take its rightful place among the other thirty or so Holy Nails known to exist.

Wonderful things these Holy Nails. They can protect people and horses. They have been known to calm angry seas. But with only thirty of the original four available, you probably think that you can't have one. But wait! Now you too can have a Holy Nail of your very own. Perform miracles! Make your home a destination for pilgrims! A thousand uses! Order yours now, operators are standing by.

Happy John Frum Day

Take a moment today to join the people of Tanna as they honor the American messiah, John Frum. Perhaps he will return soon.

The Weird Books Room

Folderol points us to AbeBooks UK's Weird Books Room. Very interesting volumes within. I love the cover for Soldier Bear and find myself intrigued by The Romance of Proctology and Bombproof Your Horse. I was surprised to see one book that I've read. The Social History of the Machine Gun is actually quite good.

I Am Jack's Grotesque News Item

When did Tyler Durden get to Peru?