Say Hello to Our Little Friend

Nobody knows, the trouble I seen . . .

Who is this jailbird cat, and why is she in the slammer?

Well, it's not exactly the slammer. It's the Animal Rescue League of Boston, and she's on the inside because she was living rough on the streets. And she was rattling her cage, looking for a home.

A box of . . . insert your own Schrödinger joke here.

So we brought a box home. When we opened the box, a little black and white cat began investigating every inch of our apartment (a/k/a The Secret Headquarters for World Domination).

What the . . . where am I?

After a while she began to settle down. She found the litter box, which was a relief for all of us. She found her new food dishes. She even began to play.

Yipeeeeee!

And then, eventually, this little wanderer began to settle down, just a bit.

This isn't too bad, actually.

It seems that The Secret Headquarters is now a home. Now all we have to do is to get her to tell us her name. 

Ten Things You Should Never Buy on Black Friday

1. Crack
2. Things made by poor people being exploited by rich people
3. Anything at Walmart
4. C-4
5. Coffee that has passed through the alimentary canal of any animal.
6. Tickle Me, Elmo
7. The Best of Nickleback
8. Trust me on that crack one. The price really drops later in the season.
9. Fertilizer of dubious provenance 
10. Magic beans

Some Things I'm Thankful For

This year I'm particularly thankful for the Red Sox. Who doesn't love a good Duck Boat parade? I'm thankful for Dustin "Scrappy" Pedroia and David "Cooperstown" Ortiz.

And speaking of Papi, I'm thankful for this:

Since this is football season, I'm thankful for Mr Kraft, Our Dark Lord of the Hoodie, and The Greatest Living American.

I'm thankful for what's left of our blue laws, so that when I hear that big stores are going to force their employees to work on Thanksgiving, I know that it's not going to happen here in the Commonwealth.

I'm thankful for my new place, The Secret Headquarters for World Domination, located here in The Hub of the Universe.

I'm thankful for the three life sustaining liquids, coffee, beer, and whiskey.

And cops. This year, most especially, I'm thankful for the cops.

I Love Rose Marie

It's true. I'm crazy about Rose Marie. Everybody knows her as Sally Rogers.



But not everybody knows how long Rose Marie has been in show biz. She started out as Baby Rose Marie and was big in the old radio days.



Some people couldn't believe that big voice was coming out of that little girl. And as she grew up she became a popular nightclub performer.



Radio, nightclubs, Vaudeville, records, movies, Broadway, TV -- Rose Marie did them all. One heck of an entertainer. One heck of a comedian:



And more than three decades after she first started singing for her supper she could still knock you out with a song:



Today is Baby Rose Marie's 90th birthday, and I love her still. Happy birthday Rose Marie, and here's to many more.

The Terror of . . . Sheepnado!

If you're anything like me, and God help you if you are, you've probably asked yourself why Syfy (I still hate that spelling) made a movie about a shark tornado when they could have done a movie about a sheep tornado.



Oh. That's why. Right then, carry on.

A Modest Proposal

There. That does it.

Happy 4th

Hey kittens, happy 4th.  I've been thinking about the 4th a lot lately, and this being the 4th I thought it might be a good time to write about it.  You know the 4th don't you?  It goes like this:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Now that's a wonderful thing.  Our Constitution, our supreme law, contains within it a clear restriction on the power of government that guarantees that the people of our land will never have to worry about the abuse of the great power that we, the people, put in the hands of our political, judicial, or military leaders.  Since all of the people who serve in those branches of our democracy take a sacred oath to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution, it would be quite extraordinary if this crucial set of individual rights were ever violated.

Our private business is ours and we never have to worry about "Big Brother" looking over our shoulders.  Any time the government peeks into a citizen's private matters you can be sure that such peeking is done for a good reason, and that this reason has been carefully considered  and found to have a probable cause, and that even then the search must be limited to only the things that are described in a legally sworn warrant.  This is a very high standard indeed.

Oh, I know.  It's just words on paper, isn't it?  Haven't totalitarian states often claimed similar "rights" for their citizens, legal fictions that were more propaganda than protection?  Of course.  The old Soviet Union had a constitution too:

Article 54. Citizens of the USSR are guaranteed inviolability of the person. No one may be arrested except by a court decision or on the warrant of a procurator.

Article 55. Citizens of the USSR are guaranteed inviolability of the home. No one may, without lawful grounds, enter a home against the will of those residing in it.

Article 56. The privacy of citizens, and of their correspondence, telephone conversations, and telegraphic communications is protected by law.

Article 57. Respect for the individual and protection of the rights and freedoms of citizens are the duty of all state bodies, public organisations, and officials.

Citizens of the USSR have the right to protection by the courts against encroachments on their honor and reputation, life and health, and personal freedom and property.

Just words.  Didn't mean a thing.  But here in the U.S. of A. things are a bit different.  Not only does every public official vow to defend our rights, but our citizens will not stand by and see those rights violated.  Imagine, if you will, that we found out that our government was spying on us -- that data about all of the emails and phone calls of every citizen was being collected by a secretive agency.  Imagine that this was not based on any probable cause.  Imagine that the specific area of the search was limited to being everyone and everything.  And then suppose that this was all approved by a secret court, a Star Chamber, if you will, that had tried us all and found each of us to be suspect.  Such a thing would clearly be a violation of our most fundamental rights, and Americans would never stand for it.  We would rise together, hold mass protests, demand hearings, and work to set things right once again.  That's what makes our system work.  The Constitution is only as strong as the will of the people to keep it strong.  If that should ever waiver, God help us all.

Word of the Day: Basabasa

I'm reading a book called African Market Women by Gracia Clark.  It's a collection of interviews that the author, and anthropologist at Indiana University, conducted with seven women who were or had been entrepreneurs in the Kumasi Central Market in Ghana. While it's interesting to read the words of these Ashanti women reflecting on their lives and world they live in, I could probably enjoy the book more if I had a bit more context.  Still, I do enjoy understanding little bits of this place.  My favorite discovery is the word basabasa.  Since English is a magpie language, I want to nominate basabasa as the next word we appropriate.

According to Professor Clark, basabasa is defined in the Akan, or Twi language, as:

Disorderly or sloppy, as an adjective or adverb.  The word describes action done at random or every which way, always with a negative connotation, and can also describe thoughtless or careless people.

How wonderfully useful. Consider --


This congress is completely basabasa.

This place used to be well kept but now everything is basabasa.

The new landlord is basabasa.

With so much uncertainty, our economy is basabasa.

They tell us that the air strikes are targeted, but they are completely basabasa (every which way).

There is no respect for the law, their decisions are basabasa.

You need to straighten up this room, it is totally basabasa.

A basabasa person like you will only waste the money.  You will treat it basabasa.

The shortstop's play was basabasa, so the runner advanced to third on the error.


I can't recall any other words that we have "borrowed" from the Ashanti people.  If anybody knows any, please let me know.  In the meantime, let's all begin using basabasa.  In an orderly way, of course.

Return My Love

Today we celebrate Richard Wagner's 200th birthday with his greatest work:




Ah, such genius.

While posting this I am, of course, wearing my most magical of helmets.

Oh That Wacky Royal Navy

There is no navy in the world that is quite as colorful in its seagoing nomenclature as Great Britain's Royal Navy.  Here's a little trick that I have.  Whenever I'm feeling a little blue, I know that I can always cheer myself up by jumping on the interwebs and looking at lists of RN ships.  Just imagine being a sailor on the HMS Dido or Porcupine, the Inconstant, the Arrogant, or the Terrible.  Then you'd be lucky, because you won't have to explain your duties on the HMS Tickler, the Plumper, or even the HMS Redbreast.  A very popular silly ship name is, of course, the HMS Gay Viking.

My personal favorite, my pick for the most ridiculous Royal Navy ship name goes to this one:

Ladies and gentlemen, the HMS Cockchafer.  Where the call of "all hands on deck" always met a ready answer.

This is my challenge to you, dear reader.  Can you find a Royal Navy ship with a more ridiculous name than Cockchafer?  I think not, but I challenge you -- mostly because I'm feeling a bit under the weather and could use a laugh -- see if you can come up with a more ludicrous ship than Cockchafer.


Heart of oak are our ships, jolly tars are our men,
We always are ready; steady, boys, steady!
We'll fight and we'll conquer again and again.

Happy International Dance Day

It just doesn't get any better than this.

Scrambled Eggs

This is the greatest invention that no one has ever needed.  Now you can scramble your eggs inside their shells!  It's a culinary revolution.  It's "a new sensation in eggs on rice."  You know you want it.



Um . . . ew.

And, for no reason at all, here some eggs with Sir Paul.



And, for even less reason, some tossed salad and scrambled eggs.



Ah. Eggcellent.

Six Days Later

This has been a hell of a week in the Hub of the Universe.  I don't need to go over it all again.  Bombs, bullets, pain, fear, mutilation, death.  Then heroism, strength, compassion, unity, professionalism.  Finally, a victory of good over evil, followed by a wave of relief, jubilation, gratitude, and a renewed sense of pride in our old town.  Like I said, it's been a hell of a week.

What now?  That depends on who you are, of course.  Obviously the friends and loved ones of those who lost their lives will never stop feeling the pain of this.  The fifty-two people still in the hospital are not thinking about putting this behind them right now, especially the three people who are still in critical condition.  Officer Donohue, the T cop who took a bullet for us, is just now at the point where he can squeeze his wife's hand.  This hell has not ended for him.

The rest of us, however, are moving on.  As we should.  In the now immortal words of Big Papi, "This is our fucking city, and nobody is going to dictate our freedom."  These little twerps don't get to tell us how we're going live.  We are going to have parades with duck boats, we are going to root for our teams, we're going to walk around, look at the swans in the Public Garden, ride the T, drink Dunkin', and educate the world.  We're going to complain about it to each other and brag about it to everyone else.  Why?  Because we want to, that's why, and nobody can tell us otherwise.

Did they think they were going to stop that with bombs and bullets?  An entire city closed up shop and honored the governor's request to stay off the street so they could hunt these guys down.  An entire city was united behind our professional heroes to defend what was ours and to avenge our fallen.  They thought they were going stop us?

Right now, people are asking why.  Why did these feculent bastards do those terrible things?  The answer is no doubt important, but for most of us it doesn't matter.  Whatever evil ideology or dimwitted motivation twisted these losers into murderous monsters is irrelevant   They will not advance their cause one jot.  Boston will just keep moving, keep running, keep striving, working, studying, growing, and loving, in our own  way and in four million unique ways.

And no one can ever stop us.

We are Boston.

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty-Six

"Hide not your talents, they for use were made.  What's a sundial in the shade?" -- attributed to Benjamin Franklin

Can't add to Franklin.  Pithiness was one of his talents.

Spring is Here, Spring is Here

Life is skittles and life is beer.

The Next Bishop of Rome

Since the news seems to be dominated by papal speculation and since I've got nothing better to hoot about, I might as well join in.  I imagine that picking a new Pope is not too different from hiring a new manager. I've hired quite a few people in my time, and I usually like to set certain minimum standards for what I consider to be a successful candidate.  I'm hoping that the cardinals that are locked in the Sistine Chapel brought a list like this one with them.

1.  Must have leadership skills. The charisma to inspire combined with the will to get things done.

2.  Must not be a pervert.

3.  Must not feel overly sympathetic to perverts.

4.  Must be willing to make priestly celibacy a matter of conscience and not of obedience.

5.  Must accept that all religions are but creations of mankind and are but imperfect reflections of our attempt to understand, worship, and live as the Creator intended.  As such, doing God's work comes before the Church.

6.  Must understand and accept that when Jesus commanded us to love one another, he meant to love one another, without exception.  A church that excludes anyone or makes clear that it will not give its full love to all, regardless of ethnicity, appearance, sex, or sexuality, is not following this most important commandment.

7.  Must accept that no one person or group of people can possibly understand the ineffable wonder that we call God, and that therefore no one is infallible.  That being the case, while some people may have a degree of moral authority, that authority is one of persuasion and not coercion.

8.  Must understand that different people, all around the world, will understand and express their faith differently.  This reflects the beautiful diversity of our many cultures and peoples.  It is a good thing.  As such, the Bishop of Rome may be in communion with the Patriarch of Moscow, the Bishop of Bath and Wells, and the Senior Pastor of the Belchertown United Church of Christ, but he cannot command them as if he were a medieval monarch.

Truthfully, I'd be surprised if any of the electors will be carrying such a list.  The most we can reasonably hope for will be someone who meets the top three criteria.  Still, there are many who say that the Church is facing a crisis, and that there is a reform movement among the cardinals.  That's an intriguing notion.

And even if they end up choosing someone who thinks that everything is just fine the way it is now, at least it will be a good show.  The Vatican does pageantry better than anyone.

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty-Five

"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." -- The Beatles

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty-Four

"The soul is no traveller; the wise man stays at home, and when his necessities, his duties, on any occasion call him from his house, or into foreign lands, he is at home still, and shall make men sensible by the expression of his countenance, that he goes the missionary of wisdom and virtue, and visits cities and men like a sovereign, and not like an interloper or a valet." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Therefore, if you should see me somewhere upon the spokes of the universe, far from my home at its hub, then do seek me out for my wisdom and virtue. I shall endeavor to be generous.  

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty-Three

“Thou canst not touch the freedom of my mind.” – John Milton

 I think, therefore I'm free.

Glenn's Book of Quotes Number Thirty-Two

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom.  It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” -- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Lovely

In the unlikely event you ever doubted it -- Fred Astaire could sing.



This is my favorite version of this song. The man had style.

Bei Mir Bistu Shein

Sung by Ella Fitzgerald. Just dropping this here. Goodness.

Inspiration

Sometimes, when I'm feeling not all that certain that intellect and romance will triumph over brute force and cynicism, I listen to this, over and over, and I feel better.  Yes, I am that big of a nerd.

A Manifesto For a New Year

Hello there all you people in 2013 (which I persist in pronouncing "two thousand thirteen").  I think that this is going to be a good year, because I am determined to take some risks and make some changes.  This isn't always an easy thing, especially for a person who has an anxiety disorder (lots and lots of fun, let me tell you), but I have found that it is an absolute necessity.  My broken little mind tells me that I should just hunker down, stay the course, follow the well trod path, and to mix my metaphors terribly, to not rock the boat.  It's far safer here, hiding in my little cave.  It is also a bit like being dead.

I am reminded of the reason that Thoreau gave for leaving his little cabin in the woods (emphasis is mine):

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves. I had not lived there a week before my feet wore a path from my door to the pond-side; and though it is five or six years since I trod it, it is still quite distinct. It is true, I fear, that others may have fallen into it, and so helped to keep it open. The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now.

I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. 

The well trodden path, then, is worn and dusty place, where nothing grows.  Surrounded by life, it is itself dead.  It is the easiest way to go, to sleepwalk back and forth, denying challenge, change, and possibility.  But nothing good has ever happened to me while hunkering down.  I have done nothing worthwhile, tasted no new fruit, made no good art, or advanced not a jot forward while carefully walking the well worn way.  In this lucky thirteenth year of the millennium I will seek risk and thereby not simply save my life, but make it anew.

I'll let you know how it turns out.