Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Next Stop, Dunkin' Donuts

The folks that run our mass transit service, the MBTA, are considering the notion of selling naming rights to subway stations.  I love this idea.  For one thing, it's practical.  The service is, as the local papers like to say, "cash-strapped."  That just means that the quality of their work is diminished while the price is going up.  My monthly commuting bill just jumped by 15% but my daily ride doesn't get any better or more reliable.  Anything that could help pay the bills works for me, so I say lets get this program going.

I can't wait to hear that there are delays at JetBlue station.  Beyond that there are some real possibilities here.  Maybe we could get Febreze to sponsor North Station, just to see if they could find a way to deal with the the infamous North Station Stink.  We could see Boylston become Glass Slipper Gentleman's Club Station.  That would liven things up a bit.  Hynes Convention Center could become Heinz Ketchup Station.  Harvard Square could become The Gap, finally recognizing that the old Square is just a tarted up mall these days.  One stop down would be Supreme Liquors Station, formerly Central.  On the Blue Line you could ride out to Kelly's Roast Beef, or maybe just out to Aquarium, which would be re-named . . . Aquarium.  Or maybe Aquarium Gift Shop and Snack Bar Station.  Out in Allston we could stop at Blanchard's Liquors, since we're going there anyway.

This being Boston I can see some confusion likely to crop up.  In a system that already has two St. Paul and two Chestnut Hill stations, it might be a problem when we end up with seven Dunkin' Donuts stations.  But then, your average Bostonian is kind of used to that by now.  Driving directions around here are often like this:

Sully:  So how do you get there?

Kevin:  Real simple, you go past Dunkin's, take a left a the next Dunkin's, go past three Dunkin's and the Honey Dew.  Then you take a right at the Dunkin's.

Sully:  The one with the drive-thru?

Kevin:  No, the one next to the packie.

It's pretty much impossible to find your way around here now, so this will be just fine.  Wake me up when we start selling ad space on cruisers so the police can afford bullets.

1 comment:

Pat Tillett said...

That's funny! Everything seems to have a corporate sponsor these days.