Wow. I hear . . . voices. Many, many voices.
I have the best nurse ever.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Dear Mr. President
Mr. President, I have a proposal. It's not a modest proposal, but it is a simple one. Please remove our ground forces from Afghanistan.
I know, you've heard this before, but bear with me for a moment. I know that you have set the end of 2014 as the date that we will get out, and I know that you are a man who sticks to his guns. We can all see that you do that. But what, really, have we to gain by hanging around and getting shot at?
During your administration an average of 32 Americans die in Afghanistan every month. That's more than one every day. During the previous administration the average was about 6 per month. That is a lot of blood shed on your orders, and a lot of Americans who have far less to be thankful for this season. What have we got to show for it?
Yes, you've killed a lot of terrorists, and there's nothing wrong with killing terrorists. Love it. Good job. But do we really need all those Americans in harm's way to achieve that?
Yes, we've trained the Afghan military to defend their own country and to prop up their own corrupt, double-dealing government. That's swell too. All it has cost us is a lot of lives, green on blue killings, and having to take lip from our good friend, Hamid Karzai who is, let's face it, a punk.
So, what's to stop us from leaving right now? Are we concerned that if we go terrorists will begin to use Afghanistan as a base of operations again? Is that the problem? Okay, I've got that one solved.
Actually, you've got that one solved. Years ago, during your first presidential campaign, you said that if terrorists (you were speaking specifically of Osama Bin Laden, but the point is still a good one) were based in another country, and that country was unable or unwilling to go and get them, then we would do the job. You were right. You proved it when ordered the assault on Bin Laden's compound in Pakistan. You have proven it by striking at our enemies in The Philippines, in Yemen, in Kashmir, and all over Africa. You can do it in Afghanistan. You can tell the Karzai government that they are now ready to run their own country, congratulate them on their rapid progress, and get us out. You can make sure that they understand that if anyone starts to use any part of their eternally fractured country as a base for international terrorism, we will strike. We will strike with missiles, with drones, with air power, with naval guns, with special forces, or with as many soldiers as you, the commander-in-chief, deems prudent.
This proposal has a lot of advantages. For one thing, we will be unsubscribing from the coffin-a-day program that we're on now. For another, freeing up those troops will help the process of transforming our military into a more nimble, flexible fighting force, the kind that doesn't rely on old battleships, bayonets, and horses. Finally, by setting up the military to quickly take on our enemies, regardless of borders, you will be creating a bold new global strategy based upon your successful elimination of Osama Bin Laden. We can call it the Obama Doctrine.
With the Obama Doctrine in place there will be no safe haven for our foes, our losses will be reduced, and you will be remembered as the president who gave us both war and peace.
How about it Mr. President? What do you say we bring them home by Christmas?
I know, you've heard this before, but bear with me for a moment. I know that you have set the end of 2014 as the date that we will get out, and I know that you are a man who sticks to his guns. We can all see that you do that. But what, really, have we to gain by hanging around and getting shot at?
During your administration an average of 32 Americans die in Afghanistan every month. That's more than one every day. During the previous administration the average was about 6 per month. That is a lot of blood shed on your orders, and a lot of Americans who have far less to be thankful for this season. What have we got to show for it?
Yes, you've killed a lot of terrorists, and there's nothing wrong with killing terrorists. Love it. Good job. But do we really need all those Americans in harm's way to achieve that?
Yes, we've trained the Afghan military to defend their own country and to prop up their own corrupt, double-dealing government. That's swell too. All it has cost us is a lot of lives, green on blue killings, and having to take lip from our good friend, Hamid Karzai who is, let's face it, a punk.
So, what's to stop us from leaving right now? Are we concerned that if we go terrorists will begin to use Afghanistan as a base of operations again? Is that the problem? Okay, I've got that one solved.
Actually, you've got that one solved. Years ago, during your first presidential campaign, you said that if terrorists (you were speaking specifically of Osama Bin Laden, but the point is still a good one) were based in another country, and that country was unable or unwilling to go and get them, then we would do the job. You were right. You proved it when ordered the assault on Bin Laden's compound in Pakistan. You have proven it by striking at our enemies in The Philippines, in Yemen, in Kashmir, and all over Africa. You can do it in Afghanistan. You can tell the Karzai government that they are now ready to run their own country, congratulate them on their rapid progress, and get us out. You can make sure that they understand that if anyone starts to use any part of their eternally fractured country as a base for international terrorism, we will strike. We will strike with missiles, with drones, with air power, with naval guns, with special forces, or with as many soldiers as you, the commander-in-chief, deems prudent.
This proposal has a lot of advantages. For one thing, we will be unsubscribing from the coffin-a-day program that we're on now. For another, freeing up those troops will help the process of transforming our military into a more nimble, flexible fighting force, the kind that doesn't rely on old battleships, bayonets, and horses. Finally, by setting up the military to quickly take on our enemies, regardless of borders, you will be creating a bold new global strategy based upon your successful elimination of Osama Bin Laden. We can call it the Obama Doctrine.
With the Obama Doctrine in place there will be no safe haven for our foes, our losses will be reduced, and you will be remembered as the president who gave us both war and peace.
How about it Mr. President? What do you say we bring them home by Christmas?
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Grover > Elmo
I'm glad that the puppeteer behind Elmo has been cleared of the false accusation that had been made against him. He seems to be a nice man. I'm sure I'd like him.
But I don't like Elmo.
It's not anything in particular that he's done. He's not a bad little fellow himself. Yes, his squeaky voice is an irritant. Yes, he is basically an idiot child. And certainly Elmo's Song is a crime against humanity. But he's a cute little critter, nice to visit with once in a while. Once in a great while.
What really pisses me off about Elmo is how he has taken over as the number one monster on Sesame Street. It used to be Grover. Lovable, furry, old Grover, everybody's pal. Superhero, restaurateur, teacher, this guy could do it all. Not particularly well, but you've got to admit, he had heart. Now, you barely see the blue guy at all.
All of which is just an excuse to post a couple of videos.
Here is Grover being ever so helpful as a waiter.
And here is Grover helping John John count to one.
What a guy.
But I don't like Elmo.
It's not anything in particular that he's done. He's not a bad little fellow himself. Yes, his squeaky voice is an irritant. Yes, he is basically an idiot child. And certainly Elmo's Song is a crime against humanity. But he's a cute little critter, nice to visit with once in a while. Once in a great while.
What really pisses me off about Elmo is how he has taken over as the number one monster on Sesame Street. It used to be Grover. Lovable, furry, old Grover, everybody's pal. Superhero, restaurateur, teacher, this guy could do it all. Not particularly well, but you've got to admit, he had heart. Now, you barely see the blue guy at all.
All of which is just an excuse to post a couple of videos.
Here is Grover being ever so helpful as a waiter.
And here is Grover helping John John count to one.
What a guy.
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