Friday, May 29, 2009

Veronica?

Archie Andrews is a waffle-headed moron. In issue 600 of Archie Comics he will get engaged to Veronica. Idiot. Betty is obviously the better choice. Veronica is trouble. He should have asked Jughead's advice. I'm sure he'd agree with me.

This is a very serious matter.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Glenn's Book of Quotes, Number Eleven

“Ninety percent of everything is crud.” – Theodore Sturgeon

This is usually referred to as Sturgeon's Law, but Sturgeon himself liked to call it Sturgeon's Revelation. Either way, it is a good thing to bear in mind.

I hear people say things like “all television is junk,” and I know it is just not so. I do know that most of it is junk. It all comes at you in an undifferentiated mess at the touch of a button. Flip through the channels and you could be forgiven for thinking that TV is a pastime for morons. You know it's not. It just takes some effort to find the good stuff.

I hear people say “turn off that useless TV and read a book.” Well, that's not a bad idea, but which book? This comes to a surprise to some people, but ninety percent of books are crud too. Believe me, I used to be a bookseller. The publishing world is hip-deep in crud. The bestseller list is mostly crud. There's a ton of crud in the mid-list. Thousands of new ISBNs are assigned every year. That's a lot of crud.

I'm talking about everything here. All fields of human endeavor. Art, architecture, the web, cars, cities, sports, science, religion, radio, business, politics, music, movies, you name it, mostly crud. Why not? We made it. What we make, and our judgments about it are, well . . .

We celebrate our great artists, creators, and dreamers, for beating the rule, for showing us truth and beauty amidst the dross. We also celebrate people who have created nothing of value and achieved nothing but their own celebrity. In fact, ninety percent of celebrities – you get the point.

This could sound like a pessimistic philosophy. It's not. It is essentially optimistic. After all, if ninety percent of everything is crud, then ten percent is the good stuff. Sometimes it takes work to find the good stuff, but it has to be there. I'm like the optimistic little boy who was given a pile of dung as a birthday present. He was last seen happily shoveling away, saying “there has to be a pony in here somewhere.”

That's the trick; find the pony.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Pop Fiction Past


Just for fun I decided to read something popular for a change; a bestseller throughout the English speaking world and across Europe. My first thought was The Recess by Sophia Lee.

You haven't heard of it? It was all the rage when it came out in 1783 and for a couple of decades after that. You kids today, you think it all began with your J.K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyers, and F. Scott Fitzgerald. No sense of history.

Let me then recommend to you The Recess; or, A Tale of Other Times. You'll love it if, and only if, you really love overwrought nineteenth century prose. This is a long, deep soak in that style and if you find that sort of thing a slog then avoid this old book. If, on the other hand, you find yourself all a-tingle with anticipation at the thought of page and a half long paragraphs of this sort of prose, then jump right in:
Emerging from the depth of those unwholesome woods, through which I had wandered, I lifted my eyes devoutly towards that rising orb, which seems no less to give light to the mind than the creation: and called on the pleasing prospect of the future, to counteract the horrible impressions of the past. Restored by this extraordinary means once more to civilized society, my heart acknowledged the charm, the simple, the solitary charm of liberty, and springing forward toward England, overleaped every intervening obstacle. Convinced, by fatal experience, at once of the fragility of human happiness, and the persecutions to which nature's dearest gifts too often expose us, the bright forms of love, ambition and glory vanished, leaving no image for my fancy to rest on but Content. I saw her meek eye lifted to her heaven-born sister, Resignation; whose hallowed beams streamed though her earthly cottage, impearling every tear: and my soul sighed after the sad peace of which I found it yet capable.
Does that make your bosom swell with heart-felt emotion? Good. Then read on.

The Recess can be considered as part of three genres. First and foremost it is a novel of sensibility. Our to main characters, Ellinor and Matilda, have lives of remarkable misfortune and turmoil, and share with us their deep and passionate feelings. They experience great love and great loss. They weep, mourn, swoon, faint, and descend into the pits of despair. Sometimes they must be recovered with a medicinal cordial or a good round of bleeding (a technique that seems to be more efficacious in fiction than in history).

Second, it is a work of historical fiction. In a very broad sense Sophia Lee is the grandmother of alternative history. Set in the Elizabethan era, our heroines are the twin daughters of Mary, Queen of Scots. Didn't know that Mary had twin daughters? Well, that's the alternative part. Mary did miscarry twins in 1567, which I suppose is where Lee got the idea. Ellinor and Matilda are secretly raised in an underground chamber, the “recess” of the title. Lee's innovation was to include real historical figures as fictional characters. This is an epistolary novel and the sisters tell their own stories of love and tragedy in a frequently hostile world.

So hostile, in fact, that this can also be considered a Gothic novel. Intrigue, politics, betrayal, desire, imprisonment, madness, violence, and death are our constant companions. I've been intrigued by Gothic fiction for some time. Brian Aldis famously said that “(s)cience fiction was born from the Gothic mode, is hardly free of it now. Nor is the distance between the two modes great.” Writers of the Gothic wanted to take the plots and situations of older styles of storytelling, like the chivalric tales, and wed them to characters that we could empathize with, believable people who acted and thought as we might expect real people to. Not too long ago I wrote that science fiction appeals to me most when interesting, well crafted, engaging characters face challenges beyond our routine. Lee's trick was to take emotionally sensitive characters that her readers empathized with and run them through an unlikely series of tragic events set in a romantic and turbulent period of English history.

At times this modern reader found the whole thing to be hilariously over the top. I can see why the form was later parodied by writers like Jane Austen. But it was fun, and I can see why it was a hit in its day. It helps know a lot more about sixteenth century English history than most Americans do today, so it is fortunate that the edition I read included useful annotations to fill in the gaps in my knowledge. The prose is, as I mentioned, a bit old fashioned. At times I found myself saying, in the words of one of Lee's characters, “Heaven will, perhaps, give me strength to go through the story, at least, I ought to make the effort.”

The picture up in the corner is, by the way, Queen Mary, in widow's weeds. Her fictional daughters were said to look like her. They had her luck too.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Trivial Hoot

Here's a good one. Name the only person who has appeared in the Star Wars, Star Trek, and Doctor Who franchises. The first person to answer correctly wins a big hoot, the contents of a bucket of nothing, and a bonus unicorn fart. C'mon, answer it, I dare you.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Poirot Would Be Proud

In Iran the police exercised their little grey cells and caught a killer who was patterning her crimes on the works of Agatha Christie. No comment was made on reports that they were assisted by an elderly spinster.
via: ArtsJournal

Thursday, May 21, 2009

An Aging Trekkie Goes to the Movies


I was, I believe I may have mentioned, a bit nervous about this new Star Trek movie. What's all this stuff about a reboot? What will they do with my beloved characters? Will they throw out all that lovely future history? Will they do it right? What I guess I meant is, will I like it?

I liked it. I really liked it. I mean, I'm surprised by how much I liked it. I think I was a little stunned.

In fact it's taken me a long time to figure out what I have to say about it, other than what I just said. I want to see it again. It's been years since I've gone to the same movie twice during its first run. That's kid stuff and I'm not a kid anymore.

Neither is Star Trek. It's forty years old. But now it's young again.

If you've read this far you probably already know the premise. Bad guy goes back in time, does something to mess up the past, changes the origin of the Star Trek saga, the whole story starts anew, with some things remaining the same and some changed forever. What made Star Trek special for me was the characters. Would this new reality get them right? Would they be, even if somewhat changed, essentially the same people?

My answer it yes. J.J. Abrams and his crew got it right. They got the big things right. They got the small things right. Sulu's unflappability, Chekov's youthful energy, Scotty's humor and style, Uhuru's strength and skill, McCoy's passion, Spock's subtle interior battle between logic and friendship, and Kirk's, well, Kirkness. Oh yes, Kirk is still da man.

There are some big changes. I don't do spoilers, so I won't talk about them here, but some things have changed. Conservative old trekkie me should have bristled, or at least been disappointed. It didn't happen. Not much, anyway. I accepted the changes as parts of the new milieu and as a device for future stories.

There were a lot of little gifts for fans. A well known trilling sound in the base on Delta Vega. The name Delta Vega. Kirk's wandering eyes (and making it with a green chick). Classic lines from the old show that brought laughter and shouts of recognition from fans in the audience. The optimistic spirit of the whole thing, defying the no-win scenario. Best of all, there was Nimoy.

Nimoy did a great job (of course) as good old Spock Prime. He passed the torch to this new version with great respect for the old. I can't wait to see the next one.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Star Trek lives.

Live long and prosper.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Best Job Ever

Here's a factory I wouldn't mind working in. They produce used books.

Via: Bibliophile Bullpen

Glenn's Book of Quotes, Number Ten

“I hate conservatives, but I really fucking hate liberals.” – Matt Stone

Two things you don't see much of here are vulgarities and politics. I don't like either. I might as well get them both out of the way at the same time.

I get some funny reactions to this quote. Some people have wondered what is left if you reject those two positions, which is rather sad. Some people have understood hating the conservatives, but are baffled by the idea of hating liberals. They are, after all, the good guys.

To tell the truth, I don't really hate either group, but I am pretty frustrated. How could I not be?

Conservatism is founded on the idea that government should be small so as to insure greater individual freedom. But conservatives too often seem to want to use the coercive power of government to legislate morality. And while conservatism naturally opposes the idea of the “welfare state,” some conservatives stretch the “rugged individualism” model to the point where the phrase “compassionate conservative” became an instant oxymoronic punchline. Here's a joke that conservatives like to tell: a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged. In other words, the problem with liberals is that they just don't understand reality. There's no point trying to talk to them. They're just stupid. It's the logic of the arrogant.

Liberals hold that the power of government should be harnessed to do good. That's what liberals want. To do good. Who could be opposed to that? Well, evil people, of course. That's how liberals seem to view those who differ with them. There is a car that parks in my neighborhood. It has a bumper sticker that reads “Better a bleeding heart than none at all.” Me, I'd rather a working heart, but the message on the bumper is clear. Liberals see conservatives as being deficient in goodness. If only they were better people, they'd be liberals. It's the logic of the smug.

The arrogant won't work with the fools. The smug won't work with the fiends. Those of us who just want good government with civil discourse must instead suffer politicians who have turned public debate into a zero sum game of us versus them.

A plague on both their houses.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bird Brains

I've always been fascinated by stories about avian intelligence. Researchers like Irene Pepperberg have shown us that parrot's communication skills may be more than mere mimicry. I love reading things like Bernd Heinrich's Mind of the Raven, which delves into the cognitive abilities of the eponymous bird. As a kid I knew that corvids were pretty bright. Smarter than our cat anyway. Tim, a sloppy old tomcat that lived with us for a while, liked to sit out on the porch railing and soak up the sun. Now and then a blue jay would swoop down in front him. He'd get up on his back legs and make a grab for the bird while another jay would dive in and peck poor Tim on the back of the head. They'd get him every time.

Still, I wasn't too sure about stories I'd heard about songbirds recognizing particular people. Some folks who have a few feeders have said that they are sure that regular visitors to their yards have come to recognize the people who keep the feeders well stocked. That sounded a bit far fetched to me. Crows, maybe, but passerines? Surely they just aren't that bright. As Mrs. Bundy says in The Birds, “their brain pans are not big enough.”

Mrs. Bundy was, of course, horribly wrong. And so, it seems, was I (although less horribly). Scientists at the University of Florida have shown that mockingbirds can recognize particular people, and will attack those they don't like. Remarkable. The study of birds seems to be endlessly rewarding.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Rough Patch

I'm still here. I've just had a difficult couple of weeks. Stress is a terrible thing. It can consume you, if you let it. That's all I've got to say about that.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Right Ho Neil

Here's Neil Gaiman answering the burning question of whether robot butlers are a good idea or not.
Only when they can shimmer in, like Jeeves. And persuade me to stop learning the banjo or shave off unlikely facial hair by rescuing Gussie Fink-Nottle from predatory lady novelists and the like, as real butlers do, will robot butlers be permitted to butle in my world.
Via: Neil's blog.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Passing the Torch

Excellent video from Paul “Spockboy” Sibbald on the passing of the Star Trek torch.

Yeah, I'm a Trekkie. I believe that the crew of the Enterprise have passed into iconic status. They are like Sherlock Holmes, Superman, and Robin and his Merry Men. You can bend them and re-shape them. You can have a dozen actors play them, have a dozen writers pen them, move them through time, play them for laughs or tears, but the original image is still fixed in our collective minds. I admit to being somewhat trepidatious about this new movie. But in the end it doesn't really matter.

Star Trek lives.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Smoking is Bad

Aw crap. Jerry Remy has cancer. Word is they just took out a bit of his lung. For those of you who don't often visit Red Sox Nation, Remy (a.k.a. RemDawg) is the president of the Nation and local TV color commentator. I hope he gets well soon. Sox games aren't the same without him. He generally knows what he's talking about, he's wicked local, and, well, he's a bit of a goof.
I wonder how Wally is taking the news.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Never Blog Tired

Last night. 4:00 A.M. Building fire alarm. From my cozy little bed to sitting on a curb. Called 911. Firefighters are nice. False alarm. Really messes with the REM stuff. Then a full, fairly stressful day. Exhausted. Does this post make any sense? I guess I'll find out when I read it tomorrow. Groggy now. Probably shouldn't hit the publish button.

What the heck.

Penguins In Space

Penguin science fiction book covers. Cool beans.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Hey Kids, Free Comics!

Today is Free Comic Book Day! I wish I had time to stop into my local funny book shop. I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now, some of it pretty stressful. Spending a little quality time with some superheroes would be a nice distraction.